I have just changed my plans. My bags have been unpacked. I have cancelled my dentist and optician's appointments that were meant to use up my health insurance money. My passport is back to its safe place. The email drafts that I had intended to send to pullout from events and programs that I had committed to have been deleted.
You see, my country is going through a political stalemate and its future is uncertain. Investors are keeping their monies and those who have money are taking it in hoards. People are talking about leaving.
Everyone is uncertain. We are all gripped by the fear of tomorrow. Fear that we might lose our investments in the banks or our medical insurances will lapse before we get to use them. Fear that we may never truly meet our true potential here with the way things are going hence thousands considering to leave for other countries.
But instead of running, I have decided to face this fear. My insurances and bond investments may disappear in the whim of the night when currency is changed. But it might not happen. Its better to face your fears than to live wondering what was on the other side of taking the fall. I might never find out what would have happened to my dreams and plans if I run.
Fear keeps us running from what we have to do to get ahead. Procrastination is the greatest singular action of fear. Running is a natural reflex from fear. You see a cat in the wild, the first thing that comes across your mind is to take to your feet and run. Fighting it would only be the first instinct of the brave.
Fear is taught. Society has taught us that some things you cannot do. They are hard. Noone has done it before. Those that tried; their lives didnt turn out well.
I dont usually take the dogs out for walks without leashes. Yesterday though I was dashing off to the street corner to buy cellphone credit and the dogs needed the exercise so I decided to make an exception and take them without the leashes. None of the two crossed the gateline and even as I pursuaded, they went two three steps then retreated back into the yard.
Some might interpret that as discipline. But I interpreted that as fear. Too much discipline can hamper you from achieving what you would like to achieve. Wanting to maintain the status quo, keep the way things are, can stop you from crossing the line to freedom out of that gated enclave where you see the world from the distance.
Live a little. Let your hair down. Do not make your worry of tomorrow stop you from achieving your dreams. Take your pen and paper, write that business proposal, write that book, make that call, send that resumé. There might not be much on the other side of the action. BUT THERE MIGHT!
A year from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didnt try rather than those you did.
My hope is that when I die, the world will speak of me as the man who lived life, did his best and all he could and in that I will have more satisfaction and more achievement than when I sat and hid in my fear.
Here is to facing our fears. Hello Fear.